How to Become a Stripper

Strips are to be ripped and then wrinkled and then wrapped around a head. Ripping strips is done by gripping canvas in both hands, then moving the right hand swiftly forward --towards the world, and at the exact same moment, jerking the left hand backward --towards oneself. Or vice versa if you are in the southern hemisphere. Wrinkling follows ripping and is done by holding a strip in both hands and then proceeding to close and then again open the hands over and over again repeatedly --repeatedly. The green in the illustration suggests a grassy knoll, or money --or both. The wrinkled strips should be laid on the knoll before wrapping. So should the stripper. This will help to relax the material. Only a certain amount of grass will be needed. Monitoring overindulgence is recommended. A head can be made from cardboard and duct-tape. It should be head-shaped and approximately the same size as JFK's. If you don't have duct-tape --you need to go shopping.