The Painters Arrive at Last . . .

Dark Cherry flat

Tan pump

Expresso flat

They've been here all day with me, spending most of their time on coffee breaks, cleaning up the paint they keep spilling, and going to the restroom. I've become convinced that shoe-painters are the laziest assed people in the world. They can hardly even seem to get started --and then the work-day's over! I'm finding out the hard way that trying to get a shoe-painter to paint a shoe is much harder work than the work of painting a shoe itself.

They were scheduled to come in and paint last Friday. That was a mistake. I should have known better than to hire a painter to come in on a weekend. Finally, this morning, thy drag their sorry butts in. Bloodshot eyes and rumpled dirty clothing --

"Is this Headwrapping School?" asks the one with the beer-belly and no front teeth.
"Hello!?! Can't you read the two foot high sign over the door?" I say.
"And, oh by the way --why are you five days late?"
"Our mothers died," says the smelly one with the dirty face and stubble beard.
"All three of your mothers died?!" I ask.
"Um, yeah man, isn't that a far out synchronicity?" says the red-head with the duct-taped glasses and his fly open.

So that's the story up to now folks. Hope you enjoyed seeing some finished shoes. It's been a hard freaking day. I'm outa here. See you when I see you... Sheeeesh! --now I'm starting to talk like them.


Kym said...

I love the Cherry Red Flat. Quite handsome, but like Cinderella's stepsisters I need it in a larger size. I'm not ready to slice off my toes or my heel.

Headwrapper said...

If your feet are that large you're most likely too big of a girl to fall down a Rabbit Hole --but just in case you do, remember --one side of the mushroom makes you larger, and the other side makes . .

Kristabel said...

So funny...

I can't decide which shoe I like the best, but I'm leaning toward the tan pump.

Reuben, I was thinking about you this weekend (shhhhh...don't tell Squirrel)..because I bought two books in Gold Beach, OR - one called "Art Against the Odds" which is a thin little book about Darger, prison art, concentration camp art, slave quilts, etc. And another called "Martians for Adults," which is a book of watercolor paintings and limericks by self-taught artist Horst Wolf in Brookings.

Um, but anyway, I love the shoes.

Headwrapper said...

I checked out Horst Wolf's webpage
Which has several 'Martian' watercolors and a cool 'Martian Pirate' sculpture (top right) that's made out of driftwood or some shit. He likes to get that elongation thing happening.
The other, 'Against the Odds' book is right up my alley. I'd eat that up faster than a homemade marshmallow ;)

Kym said...

I was looking at NCJ's latest post and thought of your project.


Kym said...

I forgot to post this way.

Reuben said...

Amazing. Thanks so much for thinking of me Kym. What added to the fun was that it struck me while watching the video after clicking to it from your hyper-link that it's a story where the Alice-like character is --a white Rabbit ;)

Sandy Mastroni said...

I would wear the dark cherry ones while I was eating Cherry Garcia ice cream and watching the Wizard of Oz.
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